I seem to talk to a lot about ups and downs, highs and lows. Today was definitely a good day. I think it’s important for me to document, and dwell on the good days.. to hold onto them.. for the days that I am so consumed by my grief and disappointment that the good days are hard to remember.
This morning I had a dreaded appointment with my doctor. I don’t know how it works at other fertility clinics, but at the one I go to you get a treatment plan with your doctor, then the actual treatments and monitoring is done by whoever is on duty that day..Then you only go specifically back to your doctor when it’s time to change treatment plans. So today I had a drive an hour to the clinic, just for a desk chat kind of appointment. I mentioned it briefly in my last post, but I was really worried about what this sit down appointment meant. I prepared myself for the worst.. and braced myself for this morning.
So we sat down together, he looked at my charts, and said that last cycle was textbook perfect. He said everything was exactly what they’d like to see and he wants to try the same treatment again (Puregon & IUI). He reminded me that even with everything perfect, any couple only has a 20% chance every month… I guess I just fell in the 80% chance of not getting pregnant.
THEN, here is where my day gets juicy.. he let us know that the clinic is breaking up. Really. It sounds like a big fight has gone down. Four out of five of the partner doctors are leaving the clinic and starting up a new clinic, about a block away. All the patients now must make a decision to stay with the clinic, or follow their doctor to the new clinic. Fortunately, when I checked in to the appointment they gave me a letter with all of this information, so I could absorb all of this before I went in to talk to him. At first it felt like a blow. I felt weepy and had to hold back a lot of emotions that wanted to blow out of me in the waiting room. But I thought about how much I truly trust this doctor. He’s world renowned, and has been part of the IVF industry practically since its beginning. I also just like him as a person. He makes me laugh, he is knowledgable about MY situation before I come into the room and I just feel really comfortable with him.. I’m not willing to give that all up. Another huge factor is that the one doctor that is staying is the only person in the whole clinic that I’ve gotten bad vibes about. She’s the one I talked about a little bit at the end of another post, but I didn’t mention how uncomfortable she made me feel during the actual ultrasound. Most of the time during the internal ultrasounds, they will give me the ultrasound tool to ahem, insert, on my own… but this doctor pushed my legs open, and just shoved it in there. She just wasn’t gentle or sensitive to my discomfort at all… and I just didn’t like her.
SO based on those things, I decided in the waiting room, that I’m following my doctor wherever he goes, for sure.
Back to sitting in the office – after he told me how wonderful my cycle was (which of course made me so happy), he found out that the drugs are not covered by my plan, he phoned the clinic pharmacy down the hall, called himself Santa, and gave me $600 worth of Puregon, for free. He said “I don’t want you to spend all your money making a baby, you can spend all your money once you get a baby”. I love this man.
Oh, I also found out that my
clinic former clinic always waits 2 months after a stimulated cycle before using the injectables again. Those ovaries need a break after working so hard. So no time was wasted with the Christmas shutdown. AND because I don’t get periods on my own, he’s going to let me go 6 weeks in between instead of the full 8 weeks (2 months)
So all in all, it was a good day for me. I feel hopeful, I feel like my body is responding well. I’m happy that IVF isn’t on the table for me right away, and I’m looking forward to checking out the new digs at a brand new clinic!